sam sall
Cibbuano
Food to AVOID: The Bacon Explosion
February 5th 2009 22:16
Yes, yes - we're supposed to give you hints and tips on what you should be eating, and effective diets to stay fit and healthy, I know.
But, just like negative space, telling you what you shouldn't eat is also very effective. And you definitely shouldn't eat The Bacon Explosion, a sausage with the casing made out of bacon, weighing in at 4 pounds, carrying 5 000 calories and a whopping 500 grams of pure, glistening fat.
Thanks to the NYTimes, the entire left-leaning country can read about the horrors of the Bacon Explosion, choosing not to eat it and, thereby saving themselves 5 000 calories.
In order for you to identify the Beast, here's a video of the finished product, waiting there, like the Antichrist, tempting you with its smoky, juicy insides.
And, certainly, don't think about looking up this recipe and making it at home. That would be folly and certain doom for your fitness. There's no way you're running a triathlon after eating one of these bad boys.
You'll notice that the Bacon Explosion has to be smoked for it to reach its true potential. It can also be done in the oven, but, ever since caveman times, humans have relished the taste of the great outdoors, magnified when meat is smoked in delicious wood.
"Mr. Day said that whether it is cooked in an oven or in a smoker, the rendered fat from the bacon keeps the sausage juicy. But in the smoker, he said, the smoke heightens the flavor of the meats."
I'm not afraid to admit that my mouth is watering a little.
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Comment by Nomad
Awesome Food
Comment by Waysouth
Romantic Writer
Given To Gaming
Waysouth
Spanish Honduras
There is a lot of loving detail in that recipe, especially the six lines on how to make a bacon lattice. Lots of adverbs. Very carefully roll the sausage! Then use the leftover bacon . . .how can there be any leftover bacon after weaving an entire bacon lattice???
Comment by Spike 2
Wordophilia
Qwerk
Peanut Butter